Over the last couple of weeks I experienced the first real depressive
period I’ve had since December. It was kind of scary to go back to some
of those places that I’ve been trying really hard to leave behind but
the fact that I’ve been able to notice that I’m feeling depressed and
analyze it objectively rather than not being able to tell because I just
feel depressed all the time was comforting in its own way.
Some people think that these Idle Thoughts comics are sad. And, sure,
a couple of them from the past couple of weeks are but they’re mostly
just designed to be intentionally vague to make them as relatable as
possible (which, to be clear, is apparently working because I have a
good 250 followers that I didn’t have two weeks ago – hello and
welcome!). A lot of them are positive, to me, but I haven’t felt the
need to express that as I think it’s more interesting for the reader to
make up their own mind about what this or that strip means.
This strip, for example, is incredibly positive to me. I feel as
though I’m at a point in my life where I am finally coming into my own
and figuring out the kind of person I want to be, who that is and what I
want to do with my life. There are some personal boundaries that I need
to overcome to be able to become that person – and I’m trying – but
that doesn’t mean I’m tearing myself down as much as it does
acknowledging the things about myself that I would like to change. It’s
about growth. Progress. Fulfillment. Positive things.
But now I’ve gone and explained it all away.
This past weekend I spent some meaningful time with someone I adore
which was really helpful for shaking off all of the negative things I
was feeling. My life, too, has calmed down quite a bit. I’ve been
feeling happy.
I’m trying to figure out ways to meet more people and establish
meaningful relationships with those wonderful people I don’t yet know.
I’m going to spend so much time riding my bike and exploring the backstreets of this town this summer.
I want to discover and digest new ideas that make me reconsider everything I know.
I’m starting to think seriously about making comics again.
I’m excited to be excited.
I’m genuinely alright
<3
